Borderlinking failure ( Valid until 30 June 2010 – Day 101- Day 98)
Brach Ettinger writes: “Failure is the measure of what has been recognized.” We have to ask constantly ourselves about the historical losses, the ones that are transmitted to us without knowing, at a level where we cannot hope to piece it together,where we are left in pieces, that might be linked together in some way, but not fully bonded. This is what Bracha describes as borderlinking, and it is in her view, a psychic landscape, the very site in which the present emerges, from the scattered and animated remains of continuing, though not continuous, trauma. ( Butler 2006, p. viii).
Living between two worlds can be demanding. Like an illness, you can’t escape from it, it is so deep in your body. It goes over every border that protects you from outside. You can articulate yourself on the screen, but deep inside you know that the screen never articulates, only imposes form.
Delivery at gate.
There are two gates. One in. One out. And me in between.
“We miss you so much”. Her eyes get tearful.
I can’t deliver the news.
“Maybe we will stay.”
“Stay where?”
“I am not quite sure….”
I am thinking of my great grandfather. How do you deliver a loss?
